Aug 312004
 
  • Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should spare them.
  • Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha (or Beethoven’s Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody) every time thy phone rings.
  • Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances.
  • Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This hasn’t become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let’s nip this one in the bud.
  • Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.
  • Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.
  • Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone.
  • Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest!
  • Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it’s one of those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.
  • Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table to have it convenient just in case it should ring during the meal. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you’ll hear it just as well if it’s in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.