Zach and Ex-Gay "Ministries"

Making the rounds of the blogoshpere is the blog of 16 year old boy who came out to his fundamentalist parents. They had him committed to a Tennessee-based "re-education" facility. Some Ex-gay ministry called Love In Action.

Some of their rules and procedure are so ridiculous that it would be laughable (and I’ll post some of them below) if it weren’t for this crazy stuff that was written by the director of this program, John Smid.

Homosexuality is a sexual expression of dependence upon another person for significance and value. It is also motivated by an inability to resolve emotional difficulties, which leads to addictive relational and sexual patterns.

For example, lesbianism develops from an attempt to escape the fear of male abuse or hurt. Over 85% of the lesbian women contacting ex-gay ministries have been sexually abused or molested. Female homosexuality may also originate as a woman detaches from her feminine identity.

A young girl seeking approval may find herself more affirmed when she adopts a masculine role, such as becoming "Daddy’s little helper" in an attempt to win his approval.

I’ve also found that often lesbians lack a nurturing and caring relationship with their mother. Their adult relationships with other women are based on the eroticization of same-sex needs for affirmation and acceptance.

False Image

Today’s media gives a false perspective of homosexuality, such as showing two men or women committed to monogamy, with an appearance of mutual love and affirmation. In reality, thousands of gay men pursue hundreds of encounters each year. Even those in a "committed" relationship are often unfaithful.

Relational addiction is common. Often it is hidden behind the façade of two men or women having an intimate friendship. What you don’t see is the hidden turmoil. There is often deep pain and loneliness.

Relational addiction is more commonly called co-dependency or emotional dependency. These distorted relationships tend to destroy a person’s hope of having a godly friendship. Those caught in these patterns are usually dependent upon being needed, or depend on others for security and significance.

Below are some of the rules that participants are expected to follow. Please remember, most of their participants are involuntarily committed teenagers.

• LIA wants to encourage each client, male and female, by affirming his/her gender identity. LIA also wants each client to pursue integrity in all of his/her actions and appearances. Therefore, any belongings, appearances, clothing, actions, or humor that might connect a client to an inappropriate past are excluded from the program. These hindrances are called False Images (FI¹s). FI behavior may include hyper-masculinity, seductive clothing, mannish/boyish attire (on women), excessive jewelry (on men), mascoting, and "campy" or gay/lesbian behavior and talk.
• As non-residential clients, Refuge participants must submit to an F.I. search every morning. With the exception of the very first program day, when they may arrive no later than 9:00 a.m., Refuge clients will arrive daily at the Love in Action campus no later than 8:50 a.m., waiting in a designated area until a staff member meets them to perform the F.I. search and check them in. Refuge clients may not enter any of the client spaces on campus before submitting to an F.I. search. All belongings brought to campus will be searched, including book bags, notebooks, wallets, handbags, purses, etc. Items that violate the F.I. policy or the dress code will be held for the client, to be returned no later than the client¹s last day in program. Clients may request to have their F.I. items returned by filling out a C.O.C.
• All photographs will be taken for the purpose of sobering re-evaluation. Clients may request to have pictures returned to them via C.O.C.
• Refuge clients will not be allowed to use personally owned computers during the program, whether on campus or at home/in temporary lodging. Computer stations are normally available on campus when clients need to type something.
• Clients should report all FI’s (with discretion), whether their own or another’s, to staff.
• Due to the nature of many gender identity struggles, issues of enmeshment and emotional dependency can develop not only with same sex, but sometimes even more easily with the opposite sex. Because healthy and appropriate same and opposite-sex relationships are encouraged, dating and exclusive relationships of any kind are prohibited while in the program.
• Clients may have no contact with anyone who has left the program prior to graduating without the blessing of the staff to do so. Clients may address off-limit persons they inadvertently encounter with a polite "hello" only.
• While in the program, clients may have no contact with anyone involved in unrepentant emotional dependencies, inappropriate sexual behaviors, or chemical dependencies. This includes any contact with friends struggling with dependency issues or inappropriate sexual behavior that was known about prior to entering the program. If such a person is encountered, the client must make his/her staff worker aware of this. 

It is way past time for the good people of this country to develop the spine to stand up to these American Taliban idiots, and say "NO" to this kind of craziness.