Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanic Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of the blunder you commit.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you will never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will REALLY get a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you switched to.

Law of the Current Affair:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want them to see you with.

Law of the Bath:
As soon as your body is fully immersed in water, the likelihood of the telephone ringing increases by 300%.

Law of the Unintended Result:
When you try to demonstrate to someone that a machine isn’t working properly, it WILL work properly!

B. John

Records and Content Management consultant who enjoys good stories and good discussion. I have a great deal of interest in politics, religion, technology, gadgets, food and movies, but I enjoy most any topic. I grew up in Kings Mountain, a small N.C. town, graduated from Appalachian State University and have lived in Atlanta, Greensboro, Winston-Salem, Dayton and Tampa since then.

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