Terrorists At the Cartoon Network

Hat Tip to Homeland Stupidity

I’m in Boston this week for training, and the HUGE story up here has been the massive terrorist threat unleashed several weeks ago by the Cartoon Network (discovered only yesterday).

Over the past several weeks Cartoon Network, to promote their television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, placed boards with LED renditions of the mooninites across ten cities. This would have been fine, except for the person who saw one of them attached to a girder above a busway near the Sullivan Square T station. On Wednesday, some frightened little brain-dead Bostonian spotted Ignignokt and Err in Boston – and called the police.

That subway station and Interstate 93 above it were closed for over two hours as police moved in to “neutralize the threat.”

A source close to the investigation told WBZ it was a “sophisticated electronic device” that somebody placed there for a reason. It was not an explosive device and police say it did not pose any danger to anyone.

The device, a large circuit board with wires and batteries, was found attached to a beam with magnets about 15 to 20 feet above a busway that runs below an elevated section of the highway.

A bomb squad officer removed it and authorities blasted it with a water cannon around 10 a.m. to render it useless. The highway and T station re-opened a short time later. – WBZ

“The device was an electronic circuit board with some components that were consistent with what we know to be improvised explosive devices,” MBTA Police Lt. Sal Venturelli said.

Let’s see, it was basically a circuit board with LEDs (one of our guys said it reminded him of a Lite Brite, if you remember those). But for God’s sake, the only thing it actually had in common with an IED was maybe the batteries. So does that mean everything with batteries is now suspicious. Let’s compare, shall we:

This is the sign

This is an IED (Oh yeah, couldda fooled me)

The two men who placed the blinking Ignignokt and Err devices in the Boston area, Peter Berdovsky, 27, of Arlington, and Sean Stevens, 28, of Charlestown, were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and placing a hoax device. The two were released earlier today on a $2500 cash bond.

Massachusetts officials proved that they are completely out of their minds and desperately need to be committed to mental institutions.

“We’re not going to let this go without looking at the further roots of how this happened to cause the panic in this city,” said state Attorney General Martha Coakley, whose police department caused the panic.

“It’s a hoax, and it’s not funny,” said Gov. Deval Patrick, who doesn’t know what the word hoax means, and has no sense of humor.

“It’s clear the intent was to get attention by causing fear and unrest that there was a bomb in that location,” Assistant Attorney General John Grossman said. The state certainly did cause a lot of fear and unrest. Grossman was speaking at the pair’s arraignment today, laying on the BS thick. “The appearance of this device and its location are crucial . . . This device looks like a bomb.” See above.

“I am prepared to take any and all legal action against Turner Broadcasting and its affiliates for any and all expenses incurred during the response to today’s incidents,” Boston mayor Thomas Menino said yesterday. There ought to be a law against frivolous lawsuits like the one Menino is proposing.

Remember, these things have been posted for weeks, and they’ve been in other cities without the panic. Go figure.