Dec 292008

CollectingIf you’re a regular visitor (or you receive the digest email) I suppose you have noticed a decided lack of activity here lately. I have to tell you, I’ve just been tired. I think that’s the best way to describe what’s been going on in my life lately. It’s not that feeling of “being sick and tired of being sick and tired,” but more a general malaise that came over me during the last months.

I’ve certainly tinkered with this site, and I’ve kept up with work, but things around the house have been left undone, and I have not written much on this blog nor in my journal. I didn’t send out Christmas cards this year, and didn’t even decorate the house. I came into the season with a good deal of the shopping done, and combined with some upcoming time off, I was actually looking forward to the holiday, but somewhere along the way, I just sort of lost that holiday spirit.

I did travel home to Kings Mountain, and the whole family crammed into Mom’s house for Christmas dinner,It was great fun. I now have a step-grand-nephew. He and I became fast friends, and he’s a real cutie.  Jackson has grown a lot in height and temperament, and we had fun over the holidays with Lay’s nephews. We punked them on their gifts by wrapping a goofy dollar store toy and presenting that to them first. It was a good test, and they passed by being (though somewhat reluctantly) grateful.

We went to only one holiday party this year, and I have felt very out of touch with my circle of friends. Both those here in Tampa, and those who live away. I truly value friends, and this is an area that will get special attention from me this year.

I suppose a psychologist reading this from afar might get a sense that I’m experiencing a bout of depression. He/She could be correct, but it is certainly not a debilatating depression, and I wouldn’t classify it that way. I don’t feel sad, just spiritually and emotionally tired. It’s not a sense of panic or impending doom. I think I do have anxiety attacks sometimes, but that’s not what’s going on here. I’m guessing work is reasonably steady for the next six months at least. We’re having some financial pressures here at home, but nothing exceedingly great at this point, and much less than many people. 

I know the recent setbacks on gay civil rights is a disappointment, but it didn’t come as a huge surprise. You’ll see a lot of articles about my feelings on that as the year progresses. I share the same concerns as everyone else about the future of economy and our Constitutional Rights going forward. I think Obama has the potential to be a great President, but I’m not the acolyte so many others have become. He’s just a man, but I hold out some hope.

I can’t put my finger on a single cause for my feelings. I do know one of the issues, but I’ll leave that for the personal diary. I’ve found I work my way out of these things by just pushing on forward, and finding the small miracles that come along each day.

I will be trying to post at least one article each day, even if it is a short one. I have to add some discipline back into my daily routine…this includes both work and personal stuff. I have some catching up to do, and I want to be able to get back into a positive routine once I start back to work on January 5.

I’m working on my list of New Year’s resolutions (which I’ll post later). This year I’m giving it serious thought. I’ll turn 50, and I need this list to be achievable while being ambitious. There are some areas of my life that need work, and this needs to be the year for that, so I anticipate a year of significant change.

So, don’t loose faith, and keep visiting. I’m hoping this year will include a lot more discussion here on the blog.

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