May 052011

So here we go again with the Florida Legislature. So far, not one new job has been created by this august group, and several thousand jobs were lost thanks to Rick Medicare Fraud Scott unilaterally turning down the high-speed rail money. I guess he doesn’t have any friends in the railroad construction business.

But they have had plenty of time to take care of other business and political interests of the Republicans.

Just minutes into the session this morning came the payoff for the developers.The House passed a measure that environmentalist had sharply opposed and thought was dead. The move makes it more difficult for people to challenge development permits related to water quality, turning existing law upside down. For decades developers have been required to show that their projects would not harm the environment. With this change, people who challenge development permits, fearing environmental damage, are required to prove the damage could occur.

Then came a little payoff to the krazy kristian kooks on the party. They got some abortion restrictions.One bill makes it more difficult for minors to receive judicial waivers of parental notification requirements when they have abortions. The second requires those seeking an abortion to first have an ultrasound, and requires that the procedure be reviewed with the patient unless she declines in writing, oh, and even if she opts out of seeing the image, the ultrasound still has to be done, and the patient has to pay for it. This from the same people who protest the government interfering in your healthcare by requiring you to have insurance with their claims the government shouldn’t get involved with the Doctor/Patient relationship. Hooker lookalike Rhonda Storms of Hillsborough C0unty fame was the sponsor of this bill. She’s never met a bill that puts the government directly into you personal life that she didn’t love.

A bone had to be thrown to the tea partiers, so lawmakers passed a bill to require drug testing of welfare applicants. And guess what, if you’re broke need State assistance, YOU have to pay for the test first. Republicans argued it’s only fair for welfare recipients to be tested because many taxpayers are screened at their place of employment. Senator Mike Bennett said, “You come to my company, if you can’t pass a urine test you’re not able to go to work.” No word on whether Bennett and the other members of the legislature are prepared to pass a bill requiring they get tested before receiving their taxpayer-funded paychecks, but I will be calling to ask.

Of course we can never leave the insurance companies behind. They’re HUGE contributors to the Republicans…especially Governor Medicare Fraud Scott. Lawmakers passed a major property insurance bill that limits the time to file a hurricane-related claim to three years, down from five years, and allows insurers to pay only part of a claim up front, and not requiring payment all at once. So, your house may be destroyed, but apparently the insurers can pay out your legitimate claim when they please in whatever size they check they decide they can afford.

Of course those nasty liberals were starting to vote, so we have to do something to restrict voting and voter initiatives. That means your representatives in Tallahassee has passed and sent to Gov. Medicare Fraud Scott an election overhaul that makes it harder for citizens to register fellow voters and get constitutional amendments on the ballot, while tweaking early voting hours.

The bill would:

  • Cut from 4 years to 2 years the amount of time to gather signatures for citizen petitions to place constitutional amendments on the ballot.
  • Require those who report a change of address at the polls to cast a provisional ballot rather than a true ballot, unless the address change is within the same county. About half of all provisional ballots are not counted.
  • Require third-party voter registration organizations to submit the forms they collect within two days instead of the current 10.


Senator Gary "boys briefs distract me" Siplin (D-Orlando)

But best of all, at the behest of another turn-coat Democrat, they finally spent my time and money addressing that horrific problem…droopy pants. That’s right boys and girls, after two tries,State Sen. Gary Siplin got a bill passed to make school kids keep their pants pulled up. He succeeded on Wednesday when the House passed a bill requiring school dress codes to ban clothes that “expose underwear or body parts in an indecent or vulgar manner.”


Siplin, a Democrat from Orlando, says, “It’s necessary to put the focus back on learning in the classroom.” You know, because teachers and school administrators police underwear helps them focus on the lesson.

“I had an Afro when I was growing up,” he said in a 2005 Tribune story. “We had some things. But showing your underwear? That doesn’t look good. That ain’t cool.” Maybe he should have kept that afro, because his grammar lessons and some of his intellect must have been lost when he cut it off. (“Ain’t” isn’t a word Professor Siplin.)

So I have some questions for Rep. boys undies distract me Siplin. What about plumbers? Also, what exactly is underwear. Kids today layer their clothes, so they may have on a pair of briefs, then boxers, then jeans…so, if the jeans are droopy and the boxers showing, but not the briefs, then is a kids underwear showing? How about if a student bends over and his pants pull down a little and the waste band of his underwear is showing? Does That get him suspended?

What an absolute bunch of foolishness, but Siplin is an honorary director of the Orlando Carnival Association. I’m guessing clowns are his specialty.

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