Three Way Tie for Douche-bag of the Day

This one is interesting I know, but they are all three of the same situation…if it really is three. Let me explain. Last week, Hillsborough, FL, County Commissioner and conservative firebrand, Stacy White (who I will note claims to be a Methodist), supposedly got a report of an anonymous employee who found flying the Rainbow Flag in memory and honor of the victims in Orlando created a hostile work environment for her. White was quick to call the flag a, “divisive, politically-charged symbol.”

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Pat Robertson-Douche-Bag of The Day

Should come as no surprise that Pat Robertson couldn’t pass up the Orlando Massacre as an opportunity to spill some of his hateful bile around the TV. Layering a Muslim, trying to claim he was a terrorist, on top of a massacre of LGBT young people on top of Trump’s America, and it’s hard not to have a “Christian Leader” each day as the douche-bag of the day. Some Republicans are vying for the honor, but since it’s Sunday, let’s go with religion, and so, for thinking Muslims and Gays should be left alone to kill each other, here’s our Douche-bag of the Day Award for Pat Robertson.

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Franklin Graham–Today’s Daily Douche-Bag Award

Right now, it’s pretty hard to decide who to give our Douche-bat of the Day Award. There are just so many people vying for the honor, with lots of pastors leading the pack. Some awful things have been said in “Jesus’ name,” and we’ll get to those, but I decided to pull out Franklin Graham from that deck first.

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Senator David Perdue–Douche of the Day

Well, for more on God’s gentle loving people, we turn today to a religious conference held last week in Georgia. Republican Senator from Georgie, David Perdue, discussed praying in imprecatory prayer against the President. Since the Senator thinks that’s a good idea, we’re giving him our Douche of the Day award.

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Is Huckabee the Biggest Jerk in America?

So Mike Huckabee’s latest rant against the Black Man in the White House. President Obama has nominated Eric K. Fanning as the Secretary of Army. What has the Huckster’s knickers all in a wad? The fact that Under Secretary Fanning happens to be gay…because, clearly, Rev. Asshole doesn’t think gay people should have jobs.

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Trump and Religion

Donald Trump has basically been caught in a lie about his personal convictions. We start with him making a big thing in an interview about how religious he is, about how much he loves the Bible, about how he really likes both Testaments equally, and how he reads it all the time. I’d say, then the wheels come off, but they were never even actually on.

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Letter to Bishop Kiesey of the Michigan Area

Recently, a small church in Michigan, Cassopolis United Methodist, had their church Pastor, Rev. Benjamin Hutchison, taken away from them. Was it because of poor attendance, hardly, he had quadrupled the membership since being appointed. He saved the church from dying according to many members. His crime, he was in a long-term committed relationship with another man. Just after that, nearly 30 United Methodist pastors joined in a celebrating a wedding ceremony for Rev. Hutchison and his husband, and now, to further hammer home her distaste for love, Bishop Deborah Lieder Kiesey has picked out nine of them for prosecution under church law. Here’s my letter to Bishop Kiesey:

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Tony Perkins-Can’t Open His Mouth Without Lying

Well, Tony Perkins of the SPLC designated hate group, Family Research Council, just can’t seem to say three words without two of them being lies. And naturally, with all the news lately about marriage equality, he’s been saying lots of words. As usual, anyone business owner who wants to discriminate against LGBT people in violation of local non-discrimination laws is a hero to Tony, but he knows that being honest about it wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he lies.

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Anti-Children “Christians”

As we all know, there is a refugee problem on our southern border as nearly 50,000 children (many unaccompanied) are making the dangerous trek to try to escape grinding poverty and violence in their home countries for a better life. But the country which gave our ancestors their chance at a better life for us, who took in the tired and the poor of the world, is no longer open for business. The white “Christians” have theirs now, so the doors are closed, and that’s why the anti-children Christians get today’s Douche Award.

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Robert Jeffress – Foul Pharisee

Perhaps nothing is more troubling to me at this time in my life than the insertion of religion into politics. Mega-Church pastors become political pundits, and it never comes to a good end. Thomas Jefferson himself wrote in 1813, “History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.” Robert Jeffres suddenly decides he’s a border security expert, and that whole thing about “suffer the children to come unto me,” well, that’s just for white protestant children. So, meet Robert Jeffress, foul Pharisee and our Douche of the Day.

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