The Conservative Bible – Because Jesus Was Just Too Liberal

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Oct 092009

Turns out the Bible is just too progressive in its views for some.  So the Conservative Bible Project has been formed to use Wiki technology to create a whole new, and more conservative, translation of the Bible.

The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: “Lack of precision in the original language … lack of precision in modern language” and “translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.” Because you know those darned liberal monks back in the days of King James just didn’t really understand the ancient biblical languages. Who knew.kjb8

According to an article on

Some of Conservapedia’s denizens, apparently including Schlafly, have been working on a new version of the Gospel of Mark. That has involved, at times, trying to come up with more modern terms for the Pharisees, a group of Jews who are often seen in the New Testament as Jesus’ antagonists. There’s been a bit of debate about what to call them — one contributor used “intellectuals,” for instance, while another said, “In an effort to capture the flavor for conservatives, I suggest changing Pharisees to ‘the Self-Proclaimed Elite’ or maybe just ‘the Elite.’ Given modern culture, I think this is more accessible and has a less benign/neutral connotation than ‘intellectuals.'”

Another contributor had a better term: “Liberals.” That’s led to verses like this one, for now Conservapedia’s version of Mark 3:6:

The Liberals then fled from the scene to plot with Herod’s people against Jesus, and plan how they might destroy him.

Sorry folks, but Jesus was basically a socialist, and was very liberal and progressive, but of course, whoever said Conservatives cared about the truth. You entitled to your own opinion, but not your own set of facts.