Sep 202015
This entry is part 19 of 31 in the series Daily Douche-Bag
Photo of Mike Huckabee

The Huckster

So Mike Huckabee’s latest rant against the Black Man in the White House. President Obama has nominated Eric K. Fanning as the Secretary of Army. What has the Huckster’s knickers all in a wad? The fact that Under Secretary Fanning happens to be gay…because, clearly, Rev. Asshole doesn’t think gay people should have jobs.

As you might imagine, the Huckster’s had plenty to say on this, since some of the shine is coming the apple that is Kim Davis. According to the Huckster, “It’s clear President Obama is more interested in appeasing America’s homosexuals than honoring America’s heroes.” Let’s dissect that just a bit. Just for the record, the first American Military person seriously injured in Iraq, happened to be gay. Marine Staff Sargent Eric Alva lost a leg when he stepped on a land mine. And just for the record, here’s what Rev. Asshole and his followers think of Sargent Alva. When he spoke at a City Council meeting in his home of San Antonio in favor of an equal rights ordinance, he was booed by the Christians there in opposition to securing Sargent Alva’s equal treatment in their town.

Eric Fanning

Eric Fanning

Of course the Huckster can’t stop there, and goes on to say, “Obama is so obsessed with pandering to liberal interest groups he’s nominated an openly gay civilian to run the Army. Homosexuality is not a job qualification.”

I couldn’t agree more Rev. Asshole, so maybe, just maybe, Mr. Fanning happens to hold the best set of qualifications for the job. As CNN reports:

Fanning has served as acting under secretary of the Army since June, and before that, served as chief of staff to Secretary of Defense Ash Carter. Fanning also served as under secretary of the Air Force and deputy undersecretary of the Navy.

In a statement, Carter called Fanning an “excellent choice” to lead the Army.

“Eric served as my first chief of staff at the Pentagon, and it has been a privilege over the course of my career to work alongside him and watch him develop into one of our country’s most knowledgeable, dedicated, and experienced public servants,” Carter said. “I know he will strengthen our Army, build on its best traditions, and prepare our ground forces to confront a new generation of challenges.”

So, what this really all comes down to is that Rev. Asshole doesn’t think gay people should have any job, regardless of their qualifications, and shows us exactly why passing an Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is so important. Just so you all know, LGBT people can fired in almost every state of the U.S. just because they are LGBT.

The Literal Inerrant Bible

 Featured, Religion, Right Wingnuts, Society  Comments Off on The Literal Inerrant Bible
Jul 222015

As the teacher of an Adult Sunday School for a few years now, I’ve had to do a lot of study, and while I’m not biblical scholar, there is one things I am absolutely certain about…the Bible is not literal nor is it inerrant. There, I said it. It doesn’t mean I don’t respect the Bible as Holy Canon, but it could not be applied to our lives today were it to be taken literally. A video by Mike Huckabee (hereinafter referred to as “the Hukster”) makes that point.

Let’s start with the video (don’t worry, it’s short):

Now let’s look at the verse he’s using here. He quotes from 2 Chronicles 7:14, but I think you have to include verse 13 as well. Here are the verses from the New International Version (NIV): Continue reading »

An Open Letter to Mike Huckabee

 Courts, Featured, Gay Issues, Politics, Religion, Right Wingnuts, Society  Comments Off on An Open Letter to Mike Huckabee
Apr 032015
This entry is part 18 of 35 in the series Gay Marriage

So, Mike Huckabee, ever the victim is out spreading his lies again about gay people.  He’s got his knickers all in a wad over the Religious Freedom Restoration Act/s in some of the more backward states, and the fact that suddenly Americans stood up and said, “Nope, we’re not going back to Jim Crow like laws for anyone, so just stop it.” The Krazy Kristian Kooks can’t seem to figure out how to respond, now that it all blew up in their face.

[callout]It should be noted that the Family Research Council has its origins as a white supremacist mailing list illegally purchased by Tony Perkins from KKK Grand Dragon, David Duke, some years back. Perkins has also been the featured at a number of meetings of white supremacist groups.[/callout]Huckabee had to go on Tony Perkins’ FRC radio show to say “It won’t stop until there are no more churches, until there are no more people who are spreading the Gospel, and I’m talking now about the unabridged, unapologetic gospel that is really God’s truth.”

So I’d like to drop him a little note.

Dear Mike:

I understand you and your “christian” friends are butt-hurt that LGBT people just might actually get some of the same rights you have enjoyed all your life. You’ve made it clear by fighting against us your entire career in some very nasty and evil ways. And now that you realize history is passing you by, you are fighting back like a cornered animal, trying to throw every lie and misconception at the issue. Let me discuss some of your concerns.

First, you and your ilk have tried to claim that the original Indiana and Arkansas bills were just the same as a federal religious freedom restoration act signed by Bill Clinton in 1993. First, let’s just get this out there, a lot has changed in the past 20 years, despite your best efforts to prevent those changes. But more important, the two recent bills are NOT like the federal law. The bill uses a broader definition of who/what can claim religious exemptions by including for-profit businesses. It also broadens the definition of the burden required to just the possibility that a person’s religious freedom might be infringed. People a lot smarter than me have done some analysis at this site, and that even includes one of the federal bills original sponsors. So Mike, click the link and understand it. In the meantime, quit lying about it, there’s something in that book you call Holy about dishonesty.

Photo of Mike Huckabee

The Huckster

I know it will surprise you to learn, Mike, that there are a lot of LGBT Christians out in the real world. People who likely mirror God’s grace far more accurately than the hateful, vengeful god you seem to project. I used to be one of those, but thanks to a hateful and unwelcoming Pastor at my long-time church, and all the escalating rhetoric from bigots like you, I’m now one of the “dones.” At least for a while, I’m off-duty from Christianity. People like you, Mike, made me embarrassed to say I was a Christian. Folks like you have made it such a dismal and vile place, who would want to join. But of course, you don’t believe that LGBT people could be “real Christians.” You put the disclaimer in your statement with the, “and I’m talking now about the unabridged, unapologetic gospel that is really God’s truth.” I know that dog whistle. That means anyone who doesn’t believe exactly as you do, is just wrong, and not really a Christian. Sorry, you aren’t the one who gets to decide Mike.

Then there is the ever-present claim that gay people want to destroy the church and kill Christians (yes, a lot of your friends have said that), and silence people of faith. It just might surprise you to learn that mostly we could give 2 shits about you and your church. Trust me when I tell you that we’d rather never have to cross paths with you, and we’d prefer to never have to fight with some little old lady florist claiming to be Christian who has chosen to deny us service in her establishment…someone who has done everything but hang a sign that says “White Christians Only.” What we would like to do is live our lives in peace; raise our children; care for our family members; pay the bills; keep our jobs; and know that, just like you, we can walk into any establishment, and get the same service you get.

But Mike, if you stand up and claim that you deserve special rights, and that LGBT people deserve less rights, you are indeed painting a metaphorical target on yourself. And if you do that in the name of your “religion,” (because you’re not doing it in the name of God…he would have none of people like you) you paint that same target on your religion. So, if your church is what you use to deny me my rights, expect me to take a dim view of your church.

After seeing some of your friends embarrassed on some real news shows, you ran home to Faux News, where you went on to say:

“I’ve never seen anything so utterly off the mark in my life, trying to say that the RFRA law is actually discrimination. It is most certainly not. Discrimination is when someone comes into the pizza place, they are turned away because they are black, or because they female, or because they are gay, ordering a pizza doesn’t give any clue if someone is gay. If you want me to show up and deliver a cake with two men on top of it, because I’m a Christian, then I’m not gonna be able to do that. That’s not discrimination, that’s discretion.”

No Mike, it is not discretion to deny service to someone. Cakes, despite what you all are now trying to claim, are not speech. They are a product. If you are a business that bakes wedding cakes, then that is your product. As a cake baker, you are providing a product. I suppose that might include a delivery service, but that’s it. It is not unlike the manufacturer of the tuxedo I might wear on my big fat gay wedding day. It is not unlike the manufacturer of the car I will ride in to the venue. You are “participating” in the service no more than Ford or the Men’s Warehouse is. I don’t want the cake baker solemnizing the wedding. I don’t want them walking down the aisle to give me away. They are employees or manufacturers doing a job.

Mike, I realize it is hard to see your white male anglo-saxon protestant domination of the culture slipping away. I also realize that your version of religion requires an enemy, and that you’ve chosen LGBT people. You know, something to scare people into your flock, because it is easier to motivate with fear and not love and trust, but it’s just not working like in the good old days, and the sooner you understand that Mike. The better.

But at the end of the day, with or without these RFRA laws, you still have the same religious freedoms you have had since the Republic was founded. You can pray to whatever God you choose, or you can choose to not pray. You can go to whatever house of worship you wish on whatever day you’d like, and you can crawl into the pulpit and preach the ugliest and nastiest things your sad little heart can drum up about people you don’t like. So Mike, stop with the lying about the need for these laws. The only thing you’re trying to do is get special rights to take your particular from of hatred and bigotry into the public square, and you’re finding that Americans are finally less and less tolerant of your intolerance. I know it’s hard to take now, but in the end, America, and even you, will be better for it.

The Crazies of Guns

 Constitution, Faux News, Featured Video, Media, Politics, Television  Comments Off on The Crazies of Guns
Feb 152013

Some time has lapsed since the horror that was the Newtown shooting, and now there have been even more gun deaths, and five people were shot accidentally on “Gun Appreciation Day,” hastily thrown together by the gun nuts. I grew up hunting with my Grandfather and other friends. I know my away around guns, and believe they are something that responsible people should have for sporting purposes, but extremists have gone entirely too far with the rhetoric, and their arguments that every person should have totally unfettered access to any kind of gun. So I want to put my spin in the discussion and dissemble the arguments that I keep hearing circulated.

funny-christmas-cards-second-amendment-christmasFirst, let’s cut right to the chase on the primary argument that seems to be implied by nearly every gun nut out there. They seem to think that any regulation whatsoever results in them having their guns “pried from their cold dead hands.” I’m tired of hearing this. None of the laws I’ve heard proposed make anyone surrender any guns, and nothing that’s been proposed includes the elimination of all gun sales. We have always had regulations for the sale of guns, and there are still plenty of guns in circulation.

As a society, we have, for nearly the entire life of the Republic, recognized that many things we are entitled to as rights, can still be reasonably restricted to make sure we can all get along. You have a right to free speech, but can’t yell fire in a crowded theater. We live by the principle famously attributed to Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendall Holmes, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.”

So stop already with the claim that any regulation would somehow prohibit you from owning a shotgun for shooting quail, or even a handgun. It’s just not true.

The other continuing meme that Obama is preparing to take all our guns is beyond ridiculous. His base has been in favor of stricter gun control for the entire time he’s been in office, but up until Newtown, his Administration had never touched the subject.

I’m also tired of the argument that the Constitution provides carte Blanche for gun ownership. Let’s take a look at the language of the Bill of Rights. Amendment I famously begins with the prohibition, “Congress shall make no law…” The founders clearly gave thought to the wording of these original documents. They proscribed the making of laws that regulate some of the rights they believed we inherited, and they used very specific language to do that. They did not, in Amendment II, make any statements limiting the authority of Congress to regulate the ownership of guns. I believe, given the wording of other Amendments, had the people of the time intended for gun ownership to be completely without regulation, they would and could have written it right there in Amendment II. Continue reading »

Legitimate Rape?

 Election, Featured, Politics  Comments Off on Legitimate Rape?
Aug 212012
Photo fo Todd Akin

Rep. Todd Akin (R-DB)

So there’s tons of furor over Rep. Todd Akin’s (R-DB)(Doucebag) comments about how, in the case of a “legitimate” rape, a woman can’t get pregnant. There’s plenty there to be furious over, but he’s vowed to stay in. And he’s still leading his opponent. That’s because lots of people (even some of the ones who have distanced themselves from Akin) actually believe some of the bullshit he’s let slip out.

Now Akin’s started out claiming he misspoke. Today he went on Mike Huckabee’s radio show again, and now he’s saying he just put, “misspoke one word in one place on one day.” He referred to the reaction of Republicans as an overreaction to him getting one word in the wrong place.

So let’s dissect what he said. First off, he pulled a classic Republican tactic. He tried to support his claims by trying to give it a scientific imprimatur. He claimed he heard his craziness from “some Doctors I’ve talked to.” Of course, when he was called out on it, he refused to say which doctors he talked with. Make no mistake, he knew what he was saying. He’d planned this at least his own mind, because he had given it enough thought to add-on this attempt to support his position with “science.”

As bad as that part of the statement may be, it really comes as no surprise. The Republicans have, for years, used this tactic to support their off-the-wall theories and positions. If the science doesn’t support their position, they either buy a study, or just make it up…use that old saw of saying, “some scientist,” “some doctors,” “some experts in that field.” The sad thing is, lots of people buy that crap, and they know it.

The worst part of his statement was use of the phrase, “legitimate rape.” The keyword there is “legitimate.” These are code words for the Tea Bagger Party and religious wingnuts of the party. Akin knows this too, and he was throwing them some red meat. The idea here is that most women aren’t really raped. They really, secretly want it, but turn on the man later if they feel bad about it afterwards. This is part of the male superiority that Republicans expect, and it fits with the subservient position of women so often found in the various religious texts.

Republicans decry “Sharia Law,” but make no mistake, there are parts of it they like, and the parts that make women subservient to men, they are all over, and doing their best to put that into American law…hence their strong efforts to outlaw abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. That’s in the party platform as they prepare for their hate fest here in Tampa next week. Akin slipped up and spilled the beans, but when you go to vote, you need to understand that Republicans believe that a woman should be required in incubate and deliver the baby of her rapist…you know, because it obviously wasn’t a “legitimate” rape after all. She was really wanting it.

Rev. Mike Huckabee, in defense of Akin and the rest of the Republicans, says we should definitely allow for rape babies. Some of them might turn out to be good Christians. Here’s the transcript of what he had to say about the topic:

“Ethel Waters, for example, was the result of a forcible rape,” Huckabee said of the late American gospel singer. One-time presidential candidate Huckabee added: “I used to work for James Robison back in the 1970s, he leads a large Christian organization. He, himself, was the result of a forcible rape. And so I know it happens, and yet even from those horrible, horrible tragedies of rape, which are inexcusable and indefensible, life has come and sometimes, you know, those people are able to do extraordinary things.”

Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) designated hate group, The Family Research Council (FRC), is giving Akin it’s full-throated support:

“This is an effort to try to direct attention away from … Claire McCaskill, who has been supportive of Planned Parenthood — an organization that’s been under investigation for criminal activity,” FRC President Tony Perkins said in between meetings of the RNC platform committee.

Perkins is also claiming authorship of the Republican Party platform plank that doesn’t offer any exceptions. And just so we’re clear about where Tony Perkin’s sympathies lay, four years ago, Perkins addressed the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), America’s premier white supremacist organization, the successor to the White Citizens Councils, which battled integration in the South. In 1996 Perkins paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,500 for his mailing list.

See, it’s because they don’t really believe in rape. They believe they have the right to screw anyone/anything they want. Brian Fischer (of another SPLC designated hate group, the American Family Association) claims that Akin has been raped himself by the media and other politicians. After all, he was just telling the truth (obviously).

Family Values Huckabee Squashes Charges His Son Killed a Dog

 Crime, Election, Politics, Society  Comments Off on Family Values Huckabee Squashes Charges His Son Killed a Dog
Dec 162007

Mike Huckabee FamilyFrom Crooks and Liars – Well, it seems that Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee has a little bit of a Michael Vick problem. He’s apparently worked to cover up the fact that his then 18 year old son and another teenager got fired from working at a Boy Scout Camp back in 1998. Seems they caught a stray dog, hung it, slit its throat, and stoned it for good measure.

You can read quotes from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette by going to Dogster’s. It seems he was never punished for it. I guess Mike Vick had the money but not influence that Daddy Huckabee has, so Junior was never charged, despite admitting to the crime. Actually though, as it turns out, David Huckabee actually didn’t kill the dog, he merely exposed it to some enhanced interrogation techniques, and then the dog committed suicide to embarrass him.

That’s just who we need running around Washington, DC under daddy’s protection.