Jun 242004

Woman Settles ‘Toilet Phobia’ Lawsuit — Well, its nice to know stupid litigation goes on the world over. I guess every country has lawyers. This lady sued a South African hotel claiming she developed a toilet phobia after she feel off the toilet in her hotel room. (Did McDonalds do the plumbing?) Maybe it was just the McDonald’s coffee case lawyer. She was asking for $14,000 for pain, injury, medical treatment and "loss of amenities."

Pot-Smoking Dominatrix Jumps Into Election — Unfortunately, this is a Canadian story, but hey, the headline surely got your attention, didn’t it?

Katherine Harris Strikes Again — This is the dumb broad?you will recall was Secretary of State (thus chief election officer) in Florida during the 2000 Presidential Election. Embarassingly enough, she was elected to Congress (but not from my district). Turns out her absentee ballot for a March 2004 local election was not counted because she forgot to sign it. Serves her right.

XXXChurch — Again, I got your attention. According to a Wired news story, Craig Gross, 28, and Mike Foster, 32, run the Christian Internet site "XXXChurch." Apparently to help the faithful overcome pornography and masturbation. (Recent advice: "Remain calm and tell yourself, ‘You don’t own me, masturbation!’") I remember someone once saying the definition of "Christianity" was the belief there was a great omnipotent being that cared greatly about my personal sex life.

New Airport Screener Program — Can you believe it. After spending billions of your taxpayer dollars to take over airport screening…not two years later, TSA is turning it back over to private contractors. Wonder which Bush family friend/contributor is getting this contract?

The Fallen Giant — It appears the once mighty and omnipotent AT&T is falling. They are pulling out of several states completely. I once told an asshole customer service person, "One day you won’t be a monopoly, and even though its just one customer now…when its another and another and another, where will you be then?" Well, I guess now we know. A mere shadow their former oligopoly. In the referenced article, a telecom consultant says, "This is a ship that’s sinking."

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