Deep Something

You Can Be Right and Still Handle Something Badly

November 5, 2026 B. John 87 Views 0 Comments Stoicism, moral courage, wisdom, Integrity, Temperance, justice, ethical choices, personal responsibility

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

This entry is in the series Lessons for Living Better

What would you do if doing the right thing might cost you your job? Early in my career, I faced an ethical dilemma involving a lucrative contract and a client who wanted us to deliberately make legal evidence difficult to find. We walked away from the opportunity, and I’ve never regretted that decision. But one question has stayed with me. What would I have done if the company’s owner had disagreed?

That experience got me thinking about the choices we make when we’re convinced we’re right. Sometimes the stakes are high, involving our livelihood or our principles. More often, they show up in everyday conversations, little white lies, and disagreements where our desire to win gets the better of our judgment. The Stoics understood that knowing what’s right is only part of the challenge. How we act on that knowledge matters just as much.

In You Can Be Right and Still Handle Something Badly, I explore the sometimes uncomfortable distance between our convictions and our conduct. Drawing on Stoic wisdom, a lesson from my professional life, and a little honest self-examination, I consider what it means to act with integrity when circumstances test us. And I leave readers with a question worth considering before their next difficult conversation. When you’re certain you’re right, will you also be proud of how you behaved?

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The Work That Begins After Election Day

November 1, 2026November 1, 2026 B. John 109 Views 0 Comments civic responsibility, American Democracy, political power, Government Accountability, Reconstruction, Election Day

This entry is in the series 2026 Elections

Election Day is when we choose our leaders. What happens the next morning may matter even more.

As a boy growing up in North Carolina, I remember standing with my father beneath a huge chalkboard outside the local newspaper office, watching election returns arrive precinct by precinct. Neighbors gathered, candidates waited, and everyone shared in the outcome. Those memories still remind me of something almost sacred about democracy. But I’ve come to realize that the responsibilities of citizenship go well beyond the moment we cast our ballots.

American history offers some uncomfortable lessons about what happens when a nation tries to return to normal without confronting abuses of power. From the betrayal of Reconstruction to the aftermath of Watergate, we’ve seen how easily the desire to move on can leave deeper problems unresolved. Today, those lessons deserve our attention, particularly as wealth and political influence threaten to diminish the voices of ordinary citizens.

In The Work That Begins After Election Day, I consider the difference between restoring familiar institutions and making them worthy of our trust. Thomas Paine believed we had the power to begin the world over again. That promise still belongs to us, along with the obligation to act upon it. Voting gives us a voice in who governs. What we do afterward helps determine what kind of country we become.

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Oh, The Stories We Tell Ourselves

October 26, 2026November 5, 2026 B. John 148 Views 0 Comments cognitive behavioral therapy, overthinking, Friendship, assumptions, self-awareness, Stoic wisdom, Stoicism, Epictetus, Emotional Resilience

This entry is in the series Lessons for Living Better

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Have you ever thought someone was angry with you, disappointed in you, or avoiding you, only to find out you were wrong? Our minds are great at filling in the blanks, especially when the people or relationships matter a lot to us. Sometimes we get so attached to our own explanations that we start treating them as facts.

For years, I worried that I’d somehow upset an old friend whose simple act of love and acceptance had meant more to me than he probably ever realized. When my occasional attempts to reconnect mostly went unanswered, I started to wonder what I’d done wrong. Eventually, I sent a heartfelt note, apologizing for anything that might have happened. His reply showed me how wrong my assumptions were.

Almost 2,000 years ago, the Stoic philosopher Epictetus warned us not to treat our judgments about events as if they were the events themselves. I was surprised to learn how much modern psychology agrees with this old idea. The founders of cognitive behavioral therapy were influenced by Stoic thinking, and years of research show the value of questioning the assumptions that cause us stress. It seems those old Stoics were onto something.

In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, the first essay in my new Ten Lessons in Living Well series, I look at how easily our thoughts can mislead us, especially when love, friendship, and uncertainty get mixed together. It’s a personal story about a friendship that still means a lot to me, and a reminder that not every thought in our minds deserves our belief or attention. Read the full essay and think about how often you’ve worried about a story your own mind made up.

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Sixty-Seven and Still Under Warranty–I Hope.

October 16, 2026 B. John 286 Views 5 Comments Healthy Aging, Finding Joy in Life, Gratitude, Stoicism, Aging with Humor, Life After 65

I’ve reached that interesting stage of life where I can spend 45 minutes lifting weights at the YMCA, walk a couple of miles, and then need a nap because staying young is exhausting. At 67, I’m probably in the best shape I’ve been in for decades, although my knees seem determined to dispute that claim.

Between Medicare, church committees, Florida politics, and my ongoing attempts to become a better Stoic, there’s certainly no shortage of things to keep me occupied. I’ve even gone back to work, which suggests either an admirable enthusiasm for life or a serious misunderstanding of what retirement is supposed to mean. And somehow, amid all that activity, I’ve discovered something I didn’t quite expect.

Getting older has given me a greater appreciation for ordinary days, good friends, meaningful work, and the people who make life worth living. I’ve had my share of difficult times, and I suspect there are more ahead. But at 67, I’m finding that the view from this particular stage of life is pretty darn good. Even if I occasionally forget why I walked into the kitchen.

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All the Seasons at Once

October 12, 2026November 10, 2026 B. John 247 Views 0 Comments Finding Hope, Stoicism, Resilience, Acceptance, Impermanence, wisdom, Ecclesiastes, Life’s Seasons

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

A year and a half ago, a simple text from my pastor, Rev. Magrey deVega, introduced me to two Latin words I’d never heard before: memento mori. Remember that you must die. That short exchange led me to explore Stoicism, mostly out of intellectual curiosity. I had no idea how important those ancient ideas would become when life started throwing surprises my way.

This past Sunday, Magrey preached on Ecclesiastes and once again mentioned the Stoics. It seems he still has more homework for me. His sermon explored an interesting idea about life’s changing seasons. We usually think of those seasons as coming one after another, but what if several show up at the same time?

In the last eighteen months, I’ve grieved while rebuilding my professional life, found moments of happiness amid uncertainty, and discovered how much steadiness can come from ordinary daily routines. Magrey’s interpretation of Ecclesiastes gave biblical words to what I’d been learning through Stoicism. It also reminded me that many religious and philosophical traditions reach similar insights about change, acceptance, and our limited time.

In All the Seasons at Once, I look back at how a simple curiosity became something deeply personal, and how Ecclesiastes added a new layer to that journey. It’s a reflection on finding hope in uncertain times, learning to value ordinary days, and realizing that grief and happiness can sometimes happen together.

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The Books They Don’t Want Our Children to Read

October 9, 2026October 9, 2026 B. John 336 Views 0 Comments Bridget Ziegler, Brittany Lyssy, Hillsborough County Schools, Banned Books Week, Florida Book Bans, Parental Rights, Freedom to Read, Moms For Liberty

This entry is in the series 2026 Elections

This entry is in the series Hate Groups

This entry is in the series Deep Questions

This entry is in the series Florida Legislature

Growing up, I didn’t have books that helped me understand who I was. People rarely talked openly about being gay,

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Whose Choice Is It?

September 12, 2026September 12, 2026 B. John 324 Views 0 Comments Vouchers, Education Funding, Teacher Shortage, Educational Equity, Wealth Transfer, Public Education, School Choice, Florida Schools

This entry is in the series Education

Florida calls it school choice. But choice for whom?

An $8,000 voucher may open doors for a family that can add another $10,000 or $15,000. For a family that cannot, the same voucher may leave those doors closed. And even when the money is there, private schools still decide whom they admit. That raises a harder question than the slogan suggests: whose choice is it?

In this essay, I look at what public education was created to do, what Florida is changing, and why the stakes go far beyond schools. Drawing on our March Voices of Justice: Speak Up for Students program at Hyde Park United Methodist Church, including insights from USF education policy professor Dr. Bill Black, I argue that public education is one of the few institutions designed to give every child a claim on shared public wealth. Weakening that promise risks hardening the very class divisions public schools were built to overcome.

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The Friends Who Walk With Us

August 30, 2026August 30, 2026 B. John 624 Views 2 Comments grief and friendship, human connection, Gratitude, Stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Friendship, sympatheia, lifelong friends

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Some friendships stretch across decades. Others arrive for a season, bringing exactly what we need at the time. A little wisdom. A little laughter. A place to rest. A reminder of who we are when life gets noisy.

In The Friends Who Walk With Us, I reflect on the people who have shaped my life, from friends who knew me when I was young to newer friendships formed in this latest season of change. Some are still close. Some have drifted. Some are gone. Yet each left something behind.

The Stoics understood friendship as part of a good life. Seneca wrote about loyal friendship; Marcus Aurelius about our deep connection to one another. Over time, I’ve come to see that friendship does more than comfort us. It changes us. We carry forward the patience, courage, humor, kindness, and wisdom others once gave us.

And maybe that’s part of the quiet duty of friendship. To receive what others give us.

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When Home Changes Hands

August 25, 2026 B. John 507 Views 1 Comment Stoicism, home, Kings Mountain, grief, Family, Memory

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Today, the house I called home for at least 62 years belongs to someone else. The deed has changed hands, yet the rooms still hold holidays, family gatherings, neighborhood friends, and snow days spent sledding down the street. Somewhere in my memory, the treehouse is still waiting in the backyard, and Mom is still inside making space for us.

Grief comes in pieces, and sometimes one of those pieces is a place. Selling the house feels like another small loss, arriving nearly a year after Mom’s death. The house still stands, but I can no longer return to it as home.

Some pieces came with me to Tampa, including Mom’s porch rocker and my grandfather’s mantel clock. The rest must live in memory now. “When Home Changes Hands” is about letting go of a place that helped form me and hoping the next family fills it with the same warmth, safety, and love that Mom gave us.

Deep Thoughts Featured Stoicism

A Softer Kind of Courage

August 4, 2026 B. John 375 Views 0 Comments Temperance, uncertainty, control, Courage, emotional strength, inner calm, Stoicism, Resilience, Acceptance

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

What if strength does not always look like pushing harder?

In this new essay, I reflect on the habit of staying busy when financial pressure, uncertainty, and professional pride start to feel heavy. Being active can help us move forward, but it can also keep us from facing what’s already there. A surprising lesson from the human lungs opened another way of thinking about courage, one built around softness, space, and the wisdom to release what we can’t control.

The Stoics never asked us to become rigid. They asked us to see clearly, act where we can, and stop exhausting ourselves against what will not move. A Softer Kind of Courage is about learning when effort serves us, when it becomes avoidance, and why sometimes the bravest thing we can do is pause long enough to breathe.

Deep Thoughts Featured Politics

The Unfinished Work

July 4, 2026July 15, 2026 B. John 550 Views 2 Comments progress, We the People, Civil Rights, Social Justice, Patriotism, Civic Engagement, American Democracy, American History

This entry is in the series The 250th 4th

Essay 2 of a series examining where we are at 250 years

For much of my lifetime, I believed that America, despite all its flaws and failures, was moving steadily toward becoming a more inclusive and just nation. Progress was never perfect. It was never guaranteed. Yet generation after generation expanded the promise of “We the People,” extending rights, opportunity, and dignity to more Americans than the generations before them.

Today, that confidence has been shaken. In this essay, I reflect on the long arc of America’s progress, the forces that have widened our democracy, and why I believe we are experiencing an unprecedented period of democratic and civil rights retrenchment. More importantly, I argue that progress has never been inevitable. It has always depended on ordinary citizens choosing to continue the unfinished work of building a more perfect Union.

This is not simply an essay about politics. It is an essay about stewardship, citizenship, and the enduring question that has defined America since its founding: Who counts?

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