Stoic Practices: Role Models

The Stoics believed that we learn virtue through example. Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself as if he were a friend, modeling how to live by holding himself accountable to an imagined mentor. Seneca pointed to Cato as a guide. Epictetus told his students to picture a sage. This practice of role models is simple but powerful: we ask, “What would this person do?” and in answering, we shape our own choices.

For me, role models have been both personal and public. My mother, a nurse for thirty-six years in our local schools, cared for generations of children and called them “my kids.” She held our family together after Dad’s untimely death and lived a life of quiet service that rippled through our community. My band director, Donald Deal, taught discipline and teamwork that lasted far beyond the music hall. Rev. Dr. R. Earle Rabb showed courage in welcoming all God’s children into his church. And figures like John Lewis, Harvey Milk, and Mahatma Gandhi remind me that justice, hope, and service are lived realities, not abstractions. To practice role models is to remember that we are guided by others—and that we, too, may be the model someone else is following.

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Apatheia in Practice

This essay is not only about ideas. It comes from my own season of upheaval. I was laid off in June. My husband has just been laid off from his job. I’ve been away from home for three weeks, staying in my mother’s house while she was in and out of the hospital. This past Wednesday, she died. I was holding her hand as she took her last breaths. In the middle of all this, my study of Stoicism has helped me keep some balance. Not by taking away grief, but by helping me live through it without being consumed.

Apatheia means freedom from being ruled by unruly passion. It does not mean coldness. It does not mean apathy. The Stoics were clear about this. Seneca wrote that “anger is a short madness.” Epictetus warned his students not to confuse love with clinging. Marcus wrote, “Take away the thought I have been harmed, and the harm is taken away.” Apatheia does not erase feeling, but steadies it. It gives room for grief, anger, and fear without letting them take over.

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The Graduation Gift

A framed silhouette of my niece, standing before the mountains at sunset, carries a message for her high school graduation: “Behind you, all your memories. Before you, all your dreams. Around you, all who love you. Within you, all you need.” It is a blessing, but also a challenge — to live with gratitude for the past, purpose in the present, and trust in the strength we already carry. In its quiet way, it’s pure Stoic wisdom.

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I’m Back

So, this is my first post in a very long time. A lot has happened since that last post in October of 2020. That one was about local candidates and my recommendations. The intervening years was just too turbulent for me, and I know my posts would be mostly rants and filled with gloom and doom. We still face a lot of the problems coming out of the past couple of years, and I’m sure I’ll be ranting a lot, but it is time to get back into the game.

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Christmas 2010-A Good One

Well, Christmas 2010 has come and gone. Nothing left to do but pack up the decorations. I’d have to rate it as a pretty good Christmas. I think I managed to stick to a fairly tight budget, and despite a few arguments with Lay, we wound up with everyone getting something they really enjoyed. I got my shopping and gift wrapping done well ahead of time this year. The decorations were up right after Thanksgiving, and the Christmas Cards went out just after that, so I never felt rushed or hectic.

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NOM Fund Raising with Lies

I know it will shock you to learn that the National Organization for Marriage is running a radio ad to, among other things, raise money, with a complete stream of lies. So, are you off the floor yet (I know you fell over when you heard). So, many thanks to Matt from stop8.org who took the time to analyze their ad, statement by statement to point out the lies. I guess that old “baring false witness” thing isn’t important if your fighting teh gayz. I mean some sins are worse than others, so if you have to commit one fight one, it’s must be OK, because they’re all Christian.

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Focus on Your Family Wants to Maintain Right to Beat Up Gay Kids

That’s right folks. The good christian people at Focus on the Family don’t want schools to have effective anti-bullying campaigns because they want to be sure their kids can continue to beat up kids who are or are perceived to be gay. Oh they try to dress it up in nice words saying they want safe schools for everyone, but if you go around and tell kids it’s not OK to beat up the gay kids, then you’re teaching them that being gay is OK.

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Busy Weekend

This past weekend was rather busy around this household. The biggest event was Sunday when we had our niece’s 4th birthday party here at the house. Saturday night we attended the Una Voce Florida Men’s Chorale concert. The concert title was “Harmonia Mundi” or music of the world. After the concert, we went over and picked up the nephews to spend the night. Whew! As soon as everyone left Sunday and all the trash was stashed, I sat down in my favorite chair, and was out light like a light for about two hours.

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