October 11, 2025
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Deep Something

The site for ranting and reporting by John Masters

Friends

I’m blessed with lots of good friends scattered around from North Carolina to D.C. to Dayton, OH, and especially here in Tampa. If I write about them and their (or our) adventures, that will be found here.

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Living the Last Best Moment – A Stoic Practice

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Greta Gerwig once said, “You don’t know when the last time of something happening is. You don’t know what the last great day you’ll spend with your best friend is. You’ll just know when you’ve never had that day again.” That line has echoed in me ever since I first heard it. It captures both the sweetness and fragility of the present moment.
The Stoics knew this well. Marcus Aurelius warned against drifting into tomorrow, reminding himself that life is lived only in the day at hand. Seneca told us that we waste time as if it were endless. For them, attention to the present was not a poetic thought. It was survival. It was also the way to live a life worth remembering.
I think of an afternoon long ago with my friend Jim, shooting pool at his parents’ house. Or a fall day on a golf course with my friend Mike, pausing to look over Moss Lake together. Neither seemed extraordinary at the time. Yet they have stayed with me as “last great days.” The lesson is clear: if I want to live fully, I must live here, in this moment, as if it could be the last best one.

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Friendship and Impermanence

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Friendships are among life’s most unpredictable gifts. Some arrive for only a brief season, while others feel like they’ll last forever. Yet nothing is promised. A letter from an old college friend recently reminded me of this truth with painful clarity: he chose silence, not because of anger, but because life had drained him of the energy to stay connected. His message closed the door on our relationship, and with it came both relief and grief. Relief that I had not harmed the friendship, grief that its time had ended.
The Stoics teach us that everything we hold dear is on loan from fortune and will one day be reclaimed. That includes the people we love and the friendships that sustain us. Loss, they say, is not theft but the return of what was never fully ours. To see relationships this way doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reshapes it. Gratitude can take the place of clinging, and memory can remain as a reminder of both the gift and the impermanence of friendship.

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Apatheia in Practice

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This essay is not only about ideas. It comes from my own season of upheaval. I was laid off in June. My husband has just been laid off from his job. I’ve been away from home for three weeks, staying in my mother’s house while she was in and out of the hospital. This past Wednesday, she died. I was holding her hand as she took her last breaths. In the middle of all this, my study of Stoicism has helped me keep some balance. Not by taking away grief, but by helping me live through it without being consumed.

Apatheia means freedom from being ruled by unruly passion. It does not mean coldness. It does not mean apathy. The Stoics were clear about this. Seneca wrote that “anger is a short madness.” Epictetus warned his students not to confuse love with clinging. Marcus wrote, “Take away the thought I have been harmed, and the harm is taken away.” Apatheia does not erase feeling, but steadies it. It gives room for grief, anger, and fear without letting them take over.

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Joy in the Margins

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“Joy doesn’t cancel out the heavy things, but it gives you little pockets of strength to carry on. Let it in, whenever and wherever you can.” Joy isn’t a finish line. It’s a companion. A weird, sometimes inappropriately timed companion. It shows up when you need it, not when you deserve it. In this reflection, I explore how small moments of joy can help carry us through the weight of the world, with a little humor and maybe even a rubber chicken.

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The Last Great Day

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A brief portion of an NPR interview a couple of weeks ago set me off on a week of reflection and memories. Greta Gerwig said, “You don’t know when the last time of something happening is. You don’t know what the last great day you’ll spend with your best friend is. You’ll just know when you’ve never had that day again.” What are some of your last great days with friends?

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Hometown Pounded by Tornados

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What now appears to have maybe two tornados pounded my hometown of Kings Mountain Tuesday evening. West Kings Mountain out through Bethlehem and Oak Grove communities seem to have been hit the hardest. Fortunately, Mom only had a few limbs down in her yard.

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So Where Have I Been Lately

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If you’re a regular visitor (or you receive the digest email) I suppose you have noticed a decided lack of activity here lately. I have to tell you, I’ve just been tired. I think that’s the best way to describe what’s been going on in my life lately. It’s not that feeling of “being sick and tired of being sick and tired,” but more a general malaise that came over me during the last months. I didn’t send out Christmas cards this year, and didn’t even decorate the house. I came into the season with a good deal of the shopping done, and combined with some upcoming time off, I was actually looking forward to the holiday, but somewhere along the way, I just sort of lost that holiday spirit. I’m working on a comeback.

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A Visit to North Carolina

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No blogging or politics last week, as I was on the road from Monday to Friday. I drove up North Carolina because we had a business meeting in Burlington Wednesday, and then I took two days off, visited Mom and drove home. It was actually a pleasant week. i also took some photos around Kings Mountain and Shelby.

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