Lawsuits Galore

I think this is going to start a new series we’ll call RUFKM (Are You Freaking Kidding Me). We’ve got a Hillsboroug Deputy suing because someone at the Gasparilla Parade fired a cannon near him, and another guy suing Lowes because the bathroom stall door would not lock. It was a hit and run in the Lowes Restroom.

First off we get word that Deputy Donald Balaban and his wife Debra filed the suit against Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla and the Krewe of the Knights of Sant’ Yago on Jan. 19. The lawsuit says Balaban was working during a Gasparilla parade on Feb. 12, 2005, when one of the cannons on a float went off nearby. I guess he’d never been to a Gasparilla parade, and of course, never mind that the departmenthas always made ear plugs available to the officers.

He claims a 35% hearing loss in one year, and 30% in the other. OK, those things are loud, and I can believe this could have happened if he was stupid enough to be standing right along side the floats. But for all this time he’s been receiving some benefits from Workers Comp. while still working as a deputy. He claims that he also has tinnitus (a constant ringing in the ears), and that if he takes the fully prescribed dosage of the medicine, he couldn’t pass the departments fitness exam. Now I don’t have a lot of room to talk, but that must be some serious medication, as I’ve seen some of these officers, and that fitness requirement has to be a pretty low bar.

So here’s where it gets interesting (remember, this is supposed to have happened in 2005, and he’s just now suing). It seems he’s now claiming that it has cost him income in his parttime job as an Options Trader because he can’t concentrate. Funny, this just now becomes an issue right after the financial markets meltdown. I’m guessing this freeloader lost his concentration as he watched his investment account go to zero back in December.

Next up, we’ve got a guy who doesnt’ seem to be able to successfuly use a public restroom. According to a report on TBO.com, “Tommy Rassier says he was using a toilet stall at a Lowe’s Home center in Pinellas Park on Aug. 18th when something terrible happened.”

Seems Rassier was about to sit down when a person unknown to him pushed open the stall door knocking Rassier “in the head and neck with the door,” pushing him “back into and against the toilet.”

Rassier thought the stall door was locked and faults Lowe’s for failing to maintain the door’s locking mechanism. The suit says Lowe’s was negligent in permitting a dangerous condition.

Rassier alleges he suffered bodily injury, disfigurement, mental anguish and other problems from the encounter.

Supposedly he experienced dramatic neck pain when the door hit him, and “a herniated disc in his spine.” However, he didn’t call 911 and report the incident, the who supposedly hit him with the door left without leaving his information (gasp…a hit and run in the Lowes restroom).