Deep Something

Friendship and Impermanence

September 11, 2025September 12, 2025 B. John 1884 Views 0 Comments Gratitude, Loss, Reflection, Pierre Hadot, Impermanence, Friendship, Memory

This entry is part 34 of 47 in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Friendships are among life’s most unpredictable gifts. Some arrive for only a brief season, while others feel like they’ll last forever. Yet nothing is promised. A letter from an old college friend recently reminded me of this truth with painful clarity: he chose silence, not because of anger, but because life had drained him of the energy to stay connected. His message closed the door on our relationship, and with it came both relief and grief. Relief that I had not harmed the friendship, grief that its time had ended.
The Stoics teach us that everything we hold dear is on loan from fortune and will one day be reclaimed. That includes the people we love and the friendships that sustain us. Loss, they say, is not theft but the return of what was never fully ours. To see relationships this way doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reshapes it. Gratitude can take the place of clinging, and memory can remain as a reminder of both the gift and the impermanence of friendship.

Featured Stoicism

The Silence Between Us

July 7, 2025July 14, 2025 B. John 1079 Views 0 Comments Stoicism, Aurelius, Jung, Communications, Loss

This entry is part 14 of 47 in the series Journey Through Stoicism

This piece began with a line from Carl Jung I read, which surfaced something I hadn’t yet put into words: “Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.” Based on my reading in Stoicism, it seemed to fit with the thoughts of some of the Stoics. I’ve been thinking about what it means to remain engaged, to keep doing meaningful work, and still feel a growing distance from close friendships. This is a quiet reflection on that kind of loneliness, not isolation exactly, but a thinning of connection. A longing for the kind of relationships where nothing important has to be explained.