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The Friends Who Walk With Us

August 30, 2026August 30, 2026 B. John 68 Views 1 Comment Seneca, Friendship, sympatheia, lifelong friends, grief and friendship, human connection, Gratitude, Stoicism, Marcus Aurelius

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Some friendships stretch across decades. Others arrive for a season, bringing exactly what we need at the time. A little wisdom. A little laughter. A place to rest. A reminder of who we are when life gets noisy.

In The Friends Who Walk With Us, I reflect on the people who have shaped my life, from friends who knew me when I was young to newer friendships formed in this latest season of change. Some are still close. Some have drifted. Some are gone. Yet each left something behind.

The Stoics understood friendship as part of a good life. Seneca wrote about loyal friendship; Marcus Aurelius about our deep connection to one another. Over time, I’ve come to see that friendship does more than comfort us. It changes us. We carry forward the patience, courage, humor, kindness, and wisdom others once gave us.

And maybe that’s part of the quiet duty of friendship. To receive what others give us.

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Stoic Practices: Negative Visualization

November 4, 2025November 4, 2025 B. John 618 Views 0 Comments Preparation, Gratitude, Resilience, Premeditatio Malorum, grief, mindfulness, negative visualization

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

This entry is in the series Stoicism Practices

What if imagining loss could make life feel fuller, not darker? The Stoics called it premeditatio malorum—the quiet practice of picturing what could go wrong, not to suffer in advance, but to steady the heart for when it does.

In this new essay, I write about sitting beside my mother near the end of her life, and later facing my own health scare. Both moments taught me that rehearsing misfortune isn’t about fear. It’s about gratitude. The kind that comes from realizing how much you already have.

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Stoic Practices: Friendship and Mentorship

October 27, 2025November 30, 2025 B. John 884 Views 0 Comments Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, Friendship, Seneca, virtue, mentorship, relationships, philosophy of life, Gratitude, Stoicism

This entry is in the series Stoicism Practices

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Some people quietly shape the way we see the world. Some do it by teaching. Others, simply by being there year after year, when life tests our convictions. The Stoics believed that friendship was a form of moral training and that mentorship was the art of walking beside someone as they learn to live well.

In this essay, I reflect on five people who changed the course of my life. They were friends and mentors whose presence became a daily lesson in philosophy. Their stories align with the wisdom of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, as well as with the insights of modern science, proving what the ancients already knew: that deep connection is essential to a good life.

The Stoics called these relationships “friends of virtue.” Today, we call them the people who help us become who we’re meant to be.

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Practicing Memento Mori: Learning to Live by Remembering Death

October 19, 2025November 30, 2025 B. John 712 Views 0 Comments Gratitude, Memento Mori, Stoicism, mortality, mindfulness, aging, emotional well-being, Laura Carstensen

This entry is in the series Stoicism Practices

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

We spend much of our lives pretending we have endless time. The Stoics knew better. Memento Mori—remember that you will die—was not a grim command but a call to live awake. Modern science now confirms what they intuited: when people recognize their days are finite, they become calmer, kinder, and more grateful.

In this new essay, I explore how ancient philosophy and modern psychology meet on common ground. From Seneca to Stanford researcher Laura Carstensen, the message is the same: awareness of mortality can make life richer, not smaller. Read Memento Mori: Learning to Live by Remembering Death.

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Friendship and Impermanence

September 11, 2025September 12, 2025 B. John 2410 Views 1 Comment Gratitude, Loss, Reflection, Pierre Hadot, Impermanence, Friendship, Memory

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Friendships are among life’s most unpredictable gifts. Some arrive for only a brief season, while others feel like they’ll last forever. Yet nothing is promised. A letter from an old college friend recently reminded me of this truth with painful clarity: he chose silence, not because of anger, but because life had drained him of the energy to stay connected. His message closed the door on our relationship, and with it came both relief and grief. Relief that I had not harmed the friendship, grief that its time had ended.
The Stoics teach us that everything we hold dear is on loan from fortune and will one day be reclaimed. That includes the people we love and the friendships that sustain us. Loss, they say, is not theft but the return of what was never fully ours. To see relationships this way doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reshapes it. Gratitude can take the place of clinging, and memory can remain as a reminder of both the gift and the impermanence of friendship.

A quiet interstate at dawn seen through a lightly wet windshield, soft light on trees and sky.

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Expecting Trouble-Premeditatio Malorum

August 20, 2025August 20, 2025 B. John 2678 Views 1 Comment Marcus Aurelius, Resilience, Seneca, Premeditatio Malorum, Dichotomy of Control, Stoic practices, Gratitude, mental rehearsal, Stoicism, Epictetus

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

Trouble will come. That is not a threat. It is the world as it is. Premeditatio malorum is simple training for a steady heart. Picture what could go wrong. Picture your first response. Keep it short. Keep it concrete. You cannot script life. You can be ready to meet it. Then even hard days make room for small good things. A call from a friend. Light on the trees at dusk. Thanks for what remains.

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Memento Mori: A Practice for the Living

August 16, 2025December 16, 2025 B. John 3448 Views 0 Comments life purpose, reconnecting with friends, mortality salience, Gratitude, Memento Mori, Stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, mortality reflection

This entry is in the series Stoicism Practices

This entry is in the series Journey Through Stoicism

We don’t know how much gas is left in the tank. That truth, far from morbid, can be a guide to living with gratitude, courage, and clarity.

Memento Mori is the Stoic reminder that life is finite. For me, it has meant fewer grudges, more calls to friends, and a better sense of when to set work aside. It has reminded me that my “last great days” may already have happened, or they may still be ahead—but I will only recognize them if I am paying attention.

This is not about fearing death. It is about remembering life. When we keep the end in view, even quietly, the days we have become more precious and more alive.

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Joy in the Margins

July 11, 2025 B. John 1474 Views 0 Comments Flamingos, Joy, Gratitude, Resilience, Senaca, Grace, Meaning, Hope

“Joy doesn’t cancel out the heavy things, but it gives you little pockets of strength to carry on. Let it in, whenever and wherever you can.” Joy isn’t a finish line. It’s a companion. A weird, sometimes inappropriately timed companion. It shows up when you need it, not when you deserve it. In this reflection, I explore how small moments of joy can help carry us through the weight of the world, with a little humor and maybe even a rubber chicken.

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My Creed

October 15, 2024October 4, 2025 B. John 3548 Views 5 Comments love, Friendship, Gratitude, Responsibility

This entry is in the series Deep Thoughts

I want there to be hearts that beat a little lighter just knowing I exist and there are smiles that bloom like sunlight when I cross their thoughts. I want my presence to bring a little warmth, ease, and joy to others’ lives. Friendship, to me, is a sacred bond, a quiet promise to be the reason someone feels seen and valued. I hold onto the knowledge that my existence makes a difference, and in turn, I strive to be someone worth remembering.