Grief in Pieces

Grief often comes in pieces. It’s not only the heavy silence of a funeral or the first night alone. It returns later, quietly, when you reach for the phone to call your mother and remember she is gone. It returns when you read something that your best friend would have laughed at, and for a moment you think, “I can’t wait to tell him,” before the memory settles in.

The Stoics knew this ache. They did not command us to shoulder through grief without feeling. They taught instead that grief itself proves the depth of our love, and that while it must be acknowledged, it must not hold us captive. When paired with the framework of the five stages of grief and the echoes of Christian and Eastern wisdom, Stoic practice helps us carry loss with dignity and live more fully in the time we are given.

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The Art of Un-Becoming

Paulo Coelho once wrote, “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you…”
For many of us, especially LGBTQ+ people, “un-becoming” means peeling away the armor we’ve worn for survival — the masks, the guarded conversations, the careful performances that kept us safe but kept us distant. In my own life, that armor helped me get through a small-town childhood, but it also kept me from living fully. Moving to Greensboro changed that. Coming out brought freedom, but it also brought loss — including a best friend I’ve never seen again. This is what I learned about the cost and the reward of un-becoming.

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Resuming Rants

There was a brief restaurant review posted earlier this year. The last post before that was a movie review (The Whale). A lot has transpired in my world over the past few months, and I think I am ready to get back to trying to post more or less regularly. The highlight reel looks a bit like this:

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I’m Back

So, this is my first post in a very long time. A lot has happened since that last post in October of 2020. That one was about local candidates and my recommendations. The intervening years was just too turbulent for me, and I know my posts would be mostly rants and filled with gloom and doom. We still face a lot of the problems coming out of the past couple of years, and I’m sure I’ll be ranting a lot, but it is time to get back into the game.

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Emergency Room “Appointments”?

Lay and I were driving home from North Carolina yesterday (that was grueling), and as we came into town on I275 I noticed a billboard advertising Advent Heath’s InQuickER.com website which apparently lets you schedule Emergency Room visits. “Yes, I think I might cut off the tip of my finger this Thursday at 10 AM. Could I get an ER appointment to get it treated at about 10:15 AM that day?”

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UPS – Douche Bag of the Day Award Winner

I don’t normally have a problem with UPS, but when things go wrong, they really go wrong. The latest is a new desk chair I ordered via Amazon. The chair, due to size and weight I assume, comes only via standard ground, but that was fine. Shipped a day or two sooner than promised, and actually arrived a couple of days sooner.

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Required Campaign and Voting Changes to Save America

I was recently involved in an exchange with someone in a discussion thread about elections, candidates, and what a sad state we’ve reached in this country. We seem no longer interested in extending the right to free and fair elections, but have allowed Republican controlled legislatures and Congress to withdraw that freedom. And that doesn’t even take into account the Republican Clown Car of candidates they’ve posited for President.

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My New Nissan Rogue Sucks

There, I said it. Back in late August I traded in my 2005 Nissan Pathfinder for a supposedly new 2015 Rogue. I based it on test drives and comparisons with a variety of similar crossovers, and reading reviews on several auto websites, combined with the price I got it for. I was fairly pleased, but in the past two months a number of critical components have failed, and Nissan and the dealership are unconcerned and actually fairly rude about it.

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