Deep Something

Friendship and Impermanence

September 11, 2025September 12, 2025 B. John 1834 Views 0 Comments Gratitude, Loss, Reflection, Pierre Hadot, Impermanence, Friendship, Memory

Friendships are among life’s most unpredictable gifts. Some arrive for only a brief season, while others feel like they’ll last forever. Yet nothing is promised. A letter from an old college friend recently reminded me of this truth with painful clarity: he chose silence, not because of anger, but because life had drained him of the energy to stay connected. His message closed the door on our relationship, and with it came both relief and grief. Relief that I had not harmed the friendship, grief that its time had ended.
The Stoics teach us that everything we hold dear is on loan from fortune and will one day be reclaimed. That includes the people we love and the friendships that sustain us. Loss, they say, is not theft but the return of what was never fully ours. To see relationships this way doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reshapes it. Gratitude can take the place of clinging, and memory can remain as a reminder of both the gift and the impermanence of friendship.

A quiet interstate at dawn seen through a lightly wet windshield, soft light on trees and sky.

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Expecting Trouble-Premeditatio Malorum

August 20, 2025August 20, 2025 B. John 2270 Views 1 Comment Resilience, Seneca, Premeditatio Malorum, Dichotomy of Control, Stoic practices, Gratitude, mental rehearsal, Stoicism, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius

Trouble will come. That is not a threat. It is the world as it is. Premeditatio malorum is simple training for a steady heart. Picture what could go wrong. Picture your first response. Keep it short. Keep it concrete. You cannot script life. You can be ready to meet it. Then even hard days make room for small good things. A call from a friend. Light on the trees at dusk. Thanks for what remains.

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Memento Mori: A Practice for the Living

August 16, 2025August 14, 2025 B. John 2863 Views 0 Comments life purpose, reconnecting with friends, mortality salience, Gratitude, Memento Mori, Stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, mortality reflection

We don’t know how much gas is left in the tank. That truth, far from morbid, can be a guide to living with gratitude, courage, and clarity.

Memento Mori is the Stoic reminder that life is finite. For me, it has meant fewer grudges, more calls to friends, and a better sense of when to set work aside. It has reminded me that my “last great days” may already have happened, or they may still be ahead—but I will only recognize them if I am paying attention.

This is not about fearing death. It is about remembering life. When we keep the end in view, even quietly, the days we have become more precious and more alive.

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Joy in the Margins

July 11, 2025 B. John 1091 Views 0 Comments Flamingos, Joy, Gratitude, Resilience, Senaca, Grace, Meaning, Hope

“Joy doesn’t cancel out the heavy things, but it gives you little pockets of strength to carry on. Let it in, whenever and wherever you can.” Joy isn’t a finish line. It’s a companion. A weird, sometimes inappropriately timed companion. It shows up when you need it, not when you deserve it. In this reflection, I explore how small moments of joy can help carry us through the weight of the world, with a little humor and maybe even a rubber chicken.

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My Creed

October 15, 2024October 4, 2025 B. John 3014 Views 2 Comments love, Friendship, Gratitude, Responsibility

I want there to be hearts that beat a little lighter just knowing I exist and there are smiles that bloom like sunlight when I cross their thoughts. I want my presence to bring a little warmth, ease, and joy to others’ lives. Friendship, to me, is a sacred bond, a quiet promise to be the reason someone feels seen and valued. I hold onto the knowledge that my existence makes a difference, and in turn, I strive to be someone worth remembering.